Keep Your Kids Safe
Cellphones: the new cigarette?
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CELL PHONES: THE NEW CIGARETTE?
**For the purposes of this article, cell phone addiction is relevant to: BBM chatting, Face book, Mxit AS WELL as a dependence on the device itself along with its myriad of functions**
Sweaty palms, heavy breathing, racing pulse, irritability and anxiety are terms usually associated with substance abusers as they wait for their next fix of ‘heaven’. 5 Out of 10 cell phone users will experience exactly the same symptoms when their primary source of ‘heaven’ – their cell phone – is taken away from them. In fact, researchers and psychologists have stated that ‘cell phone use’ withdrawal symptoms are the same as those suffered by substance abusers.
Is this addiction?
Let’s take a look at a few definitions of addiction to provide a frame of reference:
**Addiction: A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma – wiki dictionary**
**Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it. Pleasure and enjoyment would have originally been sought; however, over a period of time involvement with the substance or activity is needed to feel normal – Wikipedia**
**Behavioural addiction:
In these kinds of common usages, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences, as deemed by the user them self to their individual health, mental state, or social life – Wikipedia**
In many South African homes the following scene is a familiar one:
The family sits down to enjoy dinner, but your child ignores the calls to come to the table. When he/she does eventually appear, a cell phone is glued to the hand. The child will continually check the phone, and in some cases withdraw from the act of eating all together, in order to ‘engage’ with the cell phone. Attempts to draw the child into discussion are met with a series of grunts, no’s and excuses – while the child’s eyes won’t leave the little screen in his/her hand. After dinner, the child will once more retreat into his/her bedroom, close the door and spend the hours until bed time getting his/her fix of ‘heaven’ from the little device in his/her possession.
When is it that parents should start to worry?
Many diverse studies have been undertaken on a global level once it became clear that ‘chatting, cell phone and internet addiction’ were REAL conditions and on the increase. There are too many studies to mention, but results confirm that cell phone addiction needs to be ‘tackled’ in the same way other addictions are.
The bottom line is that cell phones are no longer just tools which could enrich a person’s life; the cell phone itself BECOMES the person’s lifestyle. At this stage it seems the younger generation are more susceptible to cell phone addiction, although it is certainly NOT limited to them. Many supposed “mature and successful” adults crumble like rotting wood when they are denied access to their phones. The birth and rise of the “do it all Smartphone” has ensured that these devices will continue to attract, hypnotise and control person’s who are susceptible.
But is the above reason to ban cell phones in your home? Is the above reason to call the cell phone “destructive and evil? Is the above reason to grab your child’s cell phone and lock it away – possibly denying him/her access to a lifesaving device? Is the above reason to petition the authorities about possible age limits on cell phone purchases, as per tobacco and alcohol?
The answer is NO. Cell phones are essential in this day and age, and when used in a balanced fashion will ONLY enrich the user’s life. Simply put: One can’t afford to be without one. However: It is important for parents to be aware of any possible changes in the ‘cell phone’ habits of children, which could indicate the onset of an addiction.
SIGNS, SYMPTOMS AND SOLUTIONS:
1. If you are paying for your child’s airtime, you will notice an increase in what you have to spend. This increase could be gradual, which often makes it unnoticeable at first. For this reason, always keep record of how much airtime you buy, and at what intervals. The child might also become ‘obsessed’ with getting airtime, to the point that he/she might start lying – in order to get money for airtime purchases. E.g. A ‘supposed’ school outing which costs R100-00. Always be aware of what your child is spending his/her money on, in that way you will be able to notice any huge increase in airtime expense immediately. There should always be a limit on monthly airtime and this limit should be adhered to. If your child runs out of airtime, implement a ‘call sponsor’ function, whereby your child can call you from his/her phone, even if there is no airtime on it. (Contact your specific service provider for details)
If your child is on a contract, be sure to scan the itemised billing monthly. You will pick up on any increase in data charges etc immediately.
2. If your child suddenly loses ‘interest’ in all extra-mural activities, hobbies, friends and family – yet DOESN’T lose interest in his/her cell phone – take a closer look. Children who spend every spare minute they have, cell phone in hand, could have a problem. If your child would rather spend quality time with his/her cell phone than with you, their friends, their family and pets; action needs to be taken. The obvious step would be to limit the child’s access to his/her cell phone, but this is not always possible.
It is HERE, that the family as a whole have to sit down and devise a set of ‘rules’ regarding the use of cell phones at home. Time limits must be set, and adhered to. It is VERY IMPORTANT that parents ALSO adhere to these restrictions and limits. In many instances, it is the parents who set the behavioural example in terms of cell phone addiction – If you are constantly on your phone, checking emails, playing games etc – your child will follow suit. Be aware of this, and ensure that the entire household buys into the ‘cell phone user restriction’ strategy.
3. Education is usually the 1st area that a noticeable change in a child’s behaviour exhibits. Ensure that you stay informed and up to date on your child’s progress at school. If you have any concerns, always approach your child’s educator. He/she might be able to give you insight into your child’s cell phone habits at school. Most schools have a “No fly” zone for cell phones – but many children still seem to have access to their phones throughout the school day. If you are concerned about the school’s cell phone policy – approach the school and discuss this with them.
4. Time, time, time. Most parents want to know; “how much is too much”. This is a difficult question to answer, as there are children who spend 3 hours a day on their cell phones, yet exhibit NO signs of addiction or behaviour problems. There are also children who spend a lot less time on their phones, yet for them, even this is ‘too much’. The trick here is to KNOW your own child – in terms of personality, interests, academic achievements etc. In this way you will pick up on ANY change in behaviour, and be able to intervene accordingly.
5. Friends: Twenty years ago a group of teenagers in a room would make enough noise to frighten any garden bird in the area. These days’ 12 teenage girls will spend 3 hours in a room together in SILENCE, all 12 of them focused ONLY on the device in their hands, not saying a word. While parents cannot select their children’s friends for them, parents CAN step in to ensure that friends follow the cell phone ‘rules’ you have in your home. It is also essential that you find out what the cell phone ‘habits’ of your children’s friends are. If you are trying to cut down on the time your child spends on his/her cell phone, it will help VERY little if all his/her friends’ homes are 24/7 cell phone friendly zones.
It is here that communication with your child is KEY. An open, honest discussion with your child about your concerns will always produce better results than an outright ‘banning’ of certain friends and visits to their homes.
6. If your child seems to have taken a break from reality, and ONLY associates with ‘friends’ and ‘people’ who ‘live’ behind the screen of a cell phone, you should be concerned. For many children, the entire extent of their socialising takes place via cell phone on chat sites and via chat services like BBM. This scenario is far more common than one would think, as ‘invisible’ socialising is very attractive to children who have self esteem issues. Chatting to people from behind the safety of a phone, liberates these children and takes away all the general fears associated with socialising with people in the ‘flesh’. If your child has more ‘invisible’ friends than what he/she has ‘flesh and blood’ ones – take notice, and take action.
IMPORTANT:
Please remember that any of the symptoms above may be exhibited by your child due to many other reasons, NOT ONLY a dependence on his/her cell phone. There could be many reasons for a change in your child’s behaviour, and whenever you are in doubt, a professional should always be approached for advice and assistance.
BEATING CELL PHONE DEPENDENCE:
1. Make sure your child stays in touch with the REAL world
2. Time limits on the use of cell phones when at home, school and at friends homes to be initiated (Parents to lead by example)
3. Encourage your child to LEAVE his/her phone at home when going on a family outing
4. An ‘airtime’ budget must be adhered to
5. Banning cell phones is NOT an option
6. Find a new hobby – as a family – one which forces all family members to take part
7. Chat to school counsellors about any ‘issues’ at school
8. Keep record of your children’s cell phone expenses and usage in terms of TIME
9. Disable certain ‘features’ and ‘chat applications’ on your child’s phone if necessary
10. If there is a serious problem, ALWAYS get professional help for your child
If you are in doubt as to whether you child has a problem or not, it is always wise to go back to this particular definition of an ‘addiction’ and then ask yourself if it is relevant to your child.
**Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it. Pleasure and enjoyment would have originally been sought; however, over a period of time involvement with the substance or activity is needed to feel normal – Wikipedia**
**For the purposes of this article, cell phone addiction is relevant to: BBM chatting, Face book, Mxit AS WELL as a dependence on the device itself along with its myriad of functions**
Sweaty palms, heavy breathing, racing pulse, irritability and anxiety are terms usually associated with substance abusers as they wait for their next fix of ‘heaven’. 5 Out of 10 cell phone users will experience exactly the same symptoms when their primary source of ‘heaven’ – their cell phone – is taken away from them. In fact, researchers and psychologists have stated that ‘cell phone use’ withdrawal symptoms are the same as those suffered by substance abusers.
Is this addiction?
Let’s take a look at a few definitions of addiction to provide a frame of reference:
**Addiction: A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma – wiki dictionary**
**Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it. Pleasure and enjoyment would have originally been sought; however, over a period of time involvement with the substance or activity is needed to feel normal – Wikipedia**
**Behavioural addiction:
In these kinds of common usages, the term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences, as deemed by the user them self to their individual health, mental state, or social life – Wikipedia**
In many South African homes the following scene is a familiar one:
The family sits down to enjoy dinner, but your child ignores the calls to come to the table. When he/she does eventually appear, a cell phone is glued to the hand. The child will continually check the phone, and in some cases withdraw from the act of eating all together, in order to ‘engage’ with the cell phone. Attempts to draw the child into discussion are met with a series of grunts, no’s and excuses – while the child’s eyes won’t leave the little screen in his/her hand. After dinner, the child will once more retreat into his/her bedroom, close the door and spend the hours until bed time getting his/her fix of ‘heaven’ from the little device in his/her possession.
When is it that parents should start to worry?
Many diverse studies have been undertaken on a global level once it became clear that ‘chatting, cell phone and internet addiction’ were REAL conditions and on the increase. There are too many studies to mention, but results confirm that cell phone addiction needs to be ‘tackled’ in the same way other addictions are.
The bottom line is that cell phones are no longer just tools which could enrich a person’s life; the cell phone itself BECOMES the person’s lifestyle. At this stage it seems the younger generation are more susceptible to cell phone addiction, although it is certainly NOT limited to them. Many supposed “mature and successful” adults crumble like rotting wood when they are denied access to their phones. The birth and rise of the “do it all Smartphone” has ensured that these devices will continue to attract, hypnotise and control person’s who are susceptible.
But is the above reason to ban cell phones in your home? Is the above reason to call the cell phone “destructive and evil? Is the above reason to grab your child’s cell phone and lock it away – possibly denying him/her access to a lifesaving device? Is the above reason to petition the authorities about possible age limits on cell phone purchases, as per tobacco and alcohol?
The answer is NO. Cell phones are essential in this day and age, and when used in a balanced fashion will ONLY enrich the user’s life. Simply put: One can’t afford to be without one. However: It is important for parents to be aware of any possible changes in the ‘cell phone’ habits of children, which could indicate the onset of an addiction.
SIGNS, SYMPTOMS AND SOLUTIONS:
1. If you are paying for your child’s airtime, you will notice an increase in what you have to spend. This increase could be gradual, which often makes it unnoticeable at first. For this reason, always keep record of how much airtime you buy, and at what intervals. The child might also become ‘obsessed’ with getting airtime, to the point that he/she might start lying – in order to get money for airtime purchases. E.g. A ‘supposed’ school outing which costs R100-00. Always be aware of what your child is spending his/her money on, in that way you will be able to notice any huge increase in airtime expense immediately. There should always be a limit on monthly airtime and this limit should be adhered to. If your child runs out of airtime, implement a ‘call sponsor’ function, whereby your child can call you from his/her phone, even if there is no airtime on it. (Contact your specific service provider for details)
If your child is on a contract, be sure to scan the itemised billing monthly. You will pick up on any increase in data charges etc immediately.
2. If your child suddenly loses ‘interest’ in all extra-mural activities, hobbies, friends and family – yet DOESN’T lose interest in his/her cell phone – take a closer look. Children who spend every spare minute they have, cell phone in hand, could have a problem. If your child would rather spend quality time with his/her cell phone than with you, their friends, their family and pets; action needs to be taken. The obvious step would be to limit the child’s access to his/her cell phone, but this is not always possible.
It is HERE, that the family as a whole have to sit down and devise a set of ‘rules’ regarding the use of cell phones at home. Time limits must be set, and adhered to. It is VERY IMPORTANT that parents ALSO adhere to these restrictions and limits. In many instances, it is the parents who set the behavioural example in terms of cell phone addiction – If you are constantly on your phone, checking emails, playing games etc – your child will follow suit. Be aware of this, and ensure that the entire household buys into the ‘cell phone user restriction’ strategy.
3. Education is usually the 1st area that a noticeable change in a child’s behaviour exhibits. Ensure that you stay informed and up to date on your child’s progress at school. If you have any concerns, always approach your child’s educator. He/she might be able to give you insight into your child’s cell phone habits at school. Most schools have a “No fly” zone for cell phones – but many children still seem to have access to their phones throughout the school day. If you are concerned about the school’s cell phone policy – approach the school and discuss this with them.
4. Time, time, time. Most parents want to know; “how much is too much”. This is a difficult question to answer, as there are children who spend 3 hours a day on their cell phones, yet exhibit NO signs of addiction or behaviour problems. There are also children who spend a lot less time on their phones, yet for them, even this is ‘too much’. The trick here is to KNOW your own child – in terms of personality, interests, academic achievements etc. In this way you will pick up on ANY change in behaviour, and be able to intervene accordingly.
5. Friends: Twenty years ago a group of teenagers in a room would make enough noise to frighten any garden bird in the area. These days’ 12 teenage girls will spend 3 hours in a room together in SILENCE, all 12 of them focused ONLY on the device in their hands, not saying a word. While parents cannot select their children’s friends for them, parents CAN step in to ensure that friends follow the cell phone ‘rules’ you have in your home. It is also essential that you find out what the cell phone ‘habits’ of your children’s friends are. If you are trying to cut down on the time your child spends on his/her cell phone, it will help VERY little if all his/her friends’ homes are 24/7 cell phone friendly zones.
It is here that communication with your child is KEY. An open, honest discussion with your child about your concerns will always produce better results than an outright ‘banning’ of certain friends and visits to their homes.
6. If your child seems to have taken a break from reality, and ONLY associates with ‘friends’ and ‘people’ who ‘live’ behind the screen of a cell phone, you should be concerned. For many children, the entire extent of their socialising takes place via cell phone on chat sites and via chat services like BBM. This scenario is far more common than one would think, as ‘invisible’ socialising is very attractive to children who have self esteem issues. Chatting to people from behind the safety of a phone, liberates these children and takes away all the general fears associated with socialising with people in the ‘flesh’. If your child has more ‘invisible’ friends than what he/she has ‘flesh and blood’ ones – take notice, and take action.
IMPORTANT:
Please remember that any of the symptoms above may be exhibited by your child due to many other reasons, NOT ONLY a dependence on his/her cell phone. There could be many reasons for a change in your child’s behaviour, and whenever you are in doubt, a professional should always be approached for advice and assistance.
BEATING CELL PHONE DEPENDENCE:
1. Make sure your child stays in touch with the REAL world
2. Time limits on the use of cell phones when at home, school and at friends homes to be initiated (Parents to lead by example)
3. Encourage your child to LEAVE his/her phone at home when going on a family outing
4. An ‘airtime’ budget must be adhered to
5. Banning cell phones is NOT an option
6. Find a new hobby – as a family – one which forces all family members to take part
7. Chat to school counsellors about any ‘issues’ at school
8. Keep record of your children’s cell phone expenses and usage in terms of TIME
9. Disable certain ‘features’ and ‘chat applications’ on your child’s phone if necessary
10. If there is a serious problem, ALWAYS get professional help for your child
If you are in doubt as to whether you child has a problem or not, it is always wise to go back to this particular definition of an ‘addiction’ and then ask yourself if it is relevant to your child.
**Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it. Pleasure and enjoyment would have originally been sought; however, over a period of time involvement with the substance or activity is needed to feel normal – Wikipedia**